Dear Alexandre,

Did you already visit the Kunsthistorische Museum, short the KHM? There is so much in there that one visit is certainly not enough to take in all the treasures you can find in this beautiful building. Some years back they opened an extra space to the public called Kunstkammer. It is a cabinet of treasure, full with playful artefacts of finest craftsmanship. I really need to visit it again, to find out more about the curious objects that are presented there. Some of them were believed to hold magical powers. So let me tell you about something quite odd – Let’s talk about bezoars.

I hope you are not enjoying a meal whilst you read these lines, because talking about bezoars is talking about unpleasant things related to digestion. In general, what is called a bezoar is a cluster of indigestible material, somewhere in the digestive organs from esophagus to the rear end. Most famous might be those of goats, that you can find in their stomachs, but basically that thing that owls spit out or long haired cats is also called a bezoar. If they are long enough in the belly, they can get very hard and they will look like stones. And for some reason, at one point in history, some people started to believe that bezoars can protect you from poisoning. So they were put in drinking cups, dipped in drinks in amulet form or put into tiny pieces and swallowed. And so some of them ended up in museums.

The fear of being poisoned seems to have been a serious one back in the day, especially in the world of nobleman. To have people to test your food beforehand is certainly a sign for the weight that that fear brought to people in power. That some of them killed others through poisoning, will not have helped overcoming that fear, I can imagine. “Natural” food poisoning by food going off will also have occurred throughout history, so the thought of “someone put poison in my food” will have slipped into the mind of sufferers. I can only imagine that being a cook for a noble family was a dangerous profession, like race car driver or fighter jet pilot… (I wonder, if they had a “cool guy” image 😆 “Who is that handsome fellow over there?” “He cooks for the King!” “How brave! He must be so courageous!”). What I want to say with all of that is that it is seems easy to imagine how an obsession with antidotes and magical remedies against poison can start in this environment. What is also easy to imagine is that selling overprized bezoars was a lucrative job. Oh, that treasures that a pig intestine can hold! I read about one that got sold for about 400.000 Euro. In the middle ages? No, that was in 2017 at an auction in China. Expensive stuff! Gross, but valuable.

Because natural bezoars are rare, a Jesuit monk in mid-16th century in Goa, India, got the great business idea to make artificial ones. Those goa stones were made out of pieces of fossils, shells, shark teeth, crushed gems, hair, tusks and resin. You were supposed to shave off a tiny piece and put it in your drink to prevent diseases and poisoning. The secret Goa stone recipe traveled to other production sites and they were produced till 1868.

I also read the story of French surgeon Ambroise Paré who, living in the 16th century did not believe that bezoars can prevent all poisoning. He was very modern, I guess, because he actually set up an experiment. There was a guy at the King’s court who got sentenced to death. He was allowed to choose how to die and he chose death by poison. Ambroise Paré administered a bezoar to the convict, but still the man died seven hours after being poisoned. The profession of the man? He was a cook at the King’s court… I wonder what his crime was…. Was it food poisoning? 🤨 I will  not start a true crime podcast, so this mystery will stay undiscussed in my world – a shame, I know…

My personal opinion on bezoars is mainly some fascinated amusement over the fact, that humans value the weirdest things that come out of animals. Because what is one the most valuable substances in the whole wide world? Ambergris. Vital to the perfume industry back in the day as a rich smelling fixative, it is still very valuable. King Charles II. loved his breakfast eggs with some ambergris on top and in some cultures it is seen as an aphrodisiac, because nothing seems to be more inviting to intimacy than something a sperm whale shat out. Yes, that is the gross truth of ambergris, just like bezoars it is formed in the intestines. Only sperm whales produce it and only a tiny percentage of them as well. In the middle of these waxy blocks, beaks of octopuses can be found, so some think it might be a mechanism to protect the intestines from sharp objects. Ambergris swims, so it can be on a wavy journey for months and years till it finally washes up at the shore to make some lucky people very rich. When it is freshly removed from a dead whale it has a strong fecal smell… Yeah, you read that right – it stinks of shit. Put it in a perfume! Although it can wash up naturally, some countries made the ownership and trade illegal to protect the highly endangered sperm whales.

Psst🤫, now that you are here, do you want to have some unwelcome extra knowledge? The German word for sperm whale is Pottwal – nothing unusual there. It was quite surprising for me to learn the English name, but I assumed that it comes from a different word than the obvious one. Finally, I was glad to hear that it comes from Italian. But my relief didn’t last long. Why did Italian whale hunters call the white greasy substance in a sperm whales head spermagetti? Because they thought it looks hilariously like sperm… 😑 Poor creatures, hunted down to almost extinction and then also named like that. There is no greeting card in the world that can hold an apology big enough for that.

Vienna! Vienna was our topic, I remember suddenly! So, in the Kunstkammer in the KHM you can see some bezoars and goa stones in artful golden sockets. There should also be bezoar amulets, that its owner could dip in their drink, just to be sure that it will not be poisonous. I have to check them out again. They are nice to look at, but if I am honest, I also like the thought that the things that a pigs’ stomach can’t handle, later end up around the neck of an aristocrat, who is panicking about being poisoned by his own cousins. Just a little bit of fun for the peasants, I guess 😇.

On a little sidenote, I just got my bile bladder removed, because the many stones that have built up inside it, where causing very painful troubles. At least gall stones from cows were and maybe still are handled as mighty bezoars… Did I have missed an opportunity here? Should I have asked to get my self produced gall stones back to settle my retirement by selling them as antidotes for science-shy people? 😆 I am happy that they are out and I will never again have to deal with them. I can not recommend passing gall stones by the way. Again, I do not recommend that! But I recommend taking some time to visit the Kunstkammer 😊. There is some magic to be found, even if it is other stuff than non-working medical remedies. The clever toys there will bring an enchanting smile to your face, I bet 😉.

Have fun my friend and find treasure